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A homeowner strolled across his yard to collect the morning post.
Insouciant and sleepy, he was nearly trampled by an enormous, snorting
bull chained to the front gate. The animal shook its horned cranium at
him and pawed the ground. A chain through a ring in its nose fixed
it
in the street but a pace or two from the entrance. The man, in fear
of having the flimsy fence
flattened in a wild rush and rampage, retro-pedalled
before the beast could charge. 
Back on the doorstep, clad in his dressing gown, the homeowner
puffed
a little himself. The front gate was the only way out of the
house without
laddering from inner-court to inner-court out the back.
Now the children
appeared, ready for school, agape at the beast in their way.
The neighbours
watched the man, his wife, and their progeny gesticulate and argue, run about
and vituperate in the yard. As yet, there was no sign of the bull's owner returning
to liberate the front walk. At last, the man dragged some wooden
crates to a corner of the fence
sufficiently distant from the menace,
climbed up, then lifted over and
deposited outside each child. The
children found this amusing; the neighbours
thought it ridiculous;
and the passers-by had ample fodder for conversation.
The poor fellow
had pressing affairs that morning. Once he had dressed and scaled the fence himself, he
took meagre solace
in the knowledge that the bull so far had stood
its ground quietly, and that
the inconsiderate idiot who had left it
behind surely would not be so daft as
to abandon altogether such a valuable
animal. As the man went on his way, he saw all pedestrians on the bull's side
of the street give it wide berth. 
When he returned a few hours later, to see the beast still a roadside fixture,
the fellow didn't even bother trying the fence. Through the open front
window
his wife let him know that in such circumstances he would enjoy
neither peace
nor welcome at home. The moment had come to bring authority's
weight to
bear. The police at the station were sympathetic; they promised
to send timely aid. Much to the unfortunate fellow's chagrin, when he arrived
home again he found
his wife bickering with an officer already on the premises.
The obstreperous policeman brandished a fine for nuisance and public obstruction.
The uniformed brute wouldn't listen to reason. He didn't care who owned the
four-legged beast,
he saw only that it was attached to this gate, and that
it blocked this walk.
In lieu of the animal's owner, he had the gate's
proprietor, who would do
nicely by default for the responsible party.
Should the walkway
not be clear when the patrolman came back on his
beat, present
company would pay for the trouble. 
To
make matters worse, no sooner had the policeman left the indignant citizen
fuming by his fence, than the bull overturned a cart wheeling precariously
near.
It felled the letterbox, and in the scramble, scattered the place
with the morning's yet
uncollected post.
The mistreated householder
nearly had a fight with the erstwhile
rider of the upturned cart.
He shook his fists and raved, fished his letters
from bovine piss-puddles,
and almost lost footing on a fresh, steaming cow-flop.
All the while
the massive, horned creature huffed and pawed, shook its head and
threatened
to uproot the fence. The homeowner tore his trousers getting back
into his yard.
When he opened one of the letters he had to rush out
again.
There was even more important business languishing since the morning;
and he hadn't found out until then.
He was late, and would pay
an extortionate price for the delay. Nothing awaited
him back at his yard.
The bull and chain, the broken cart and trampled
post were gone.
Even the excrement on the walk had been removed.
No one could tell who had taken the animal away.
None of the nosy
neighbours had seen it led around the corner.It simply had been there and now
was no longer. Nothing, in fact, proved that the animal ever had blocked the gate.
The forlorn fellow hadn't a thing to show for his misery, not even
so much
consolation as a discernible difference between that night
and the previous.
It had been one vacuous circle from start to start;
and all the debits were on his account. |
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Copyright 2000 Longtales Ltd All Rights Reserved. |
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